Where's the joy?

Ask anyone with an infant and they'll tell you that some days- most days- are challenging. Ask anyone with an infant who fights sleep with every ounce of their tiny being and they'll tell you that some days- most days- seem downright impossible. I am the latter "anyone." My daughter fights both daytime and nighttime sleep as if her life depends on it. Over the last few sleepless, hazy, frustrating weeks, I've been asking myself, where's the joy in this new stage of life?

I know this much about myself and am not afraid to admit it: I am a pessimist. I tend to stumble through life with blinders on, focusing and dwelling on negative aspects of situations. My husband, on the other hand, is an eternal optimist, focusing on the positive so much that I sometimes wonder if he's living through the same issues or situations I am. He seems much more capable of finding the joy in our current near-sleepless existence. Therefore, right now, I'm taking several minutes to focus on the positive.

So... where's the joy?

Joy is her smiles and giggles.
Joy is seeing her marvel at the wonder that is "doggie."
Joy is watching her splash around in her bathtub like an uncoordinated fish.
Joy is feeding her in the still of the night.
Joy is being the only one able to calm her when she gets really hysterical.
Joy is seeing her wrapped up in her daddy's arms.
Joy is listening to her scratch her fingernails against any surface they come in contact with.
Joy is scooping rice cereal off of her mouth and other areas of her face and body.
Joy is praying for her future- her salvation, her future husband, her teachers, her friends- even though that means accepting the idea that she's going to grow up.
Joy is helping her discover the world around her and seeing it through her eyes.
Believe it or not, joy is teaching her lessons that are tough on both of us (like how to sleep) because I know it will be better for her in the long run.

So while this pessimist is sleep deprived and more than a little frustrated at times, it's still possible to find the joy in motherhood and the joy in being completely responsible for the life of another. Actually, I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. 

My heart leaps for JOY, and with my song I praise Him. -Psalm 28:7