Homework

As of November 19, I officially became a stay-at-home mom. My supervisors and co-workers were very understanding and supportive, which has made the transition that much easier. But as I sit here with still-wet baby pee pee on my pant leg (literally, but why change again?), I realize, not for the first time, that "mommyhood" has not been as easy as I once thought it might be. I expected a challenge and I'd heard that being a full-time mom is "the hardest job in the world," but it has been more challenging than I envisioned. Rewarding, yes. But hard! Even so, I am immensely thankful and fully realize how blessed I am to have the option of staying home with my baby. Jeph and I have had to do a major budget overhaul and each agree to certain sacrifices to our previous "lifestyle," but we both know this is the right thing for our family at this time.

Just because I won't be going to an office Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm doesn't mean I won't be working. And I don't only mean that I'll be "working" to care for and raise my child. I plan to continue with my little side business of freelance writing, editing, and proofreading from home. So I won't only be a stay-at-home mom, I'll be a work-at-home mom, too. I've been slowly (very slowly...) growing this business for the last few years and hope that it will really take off this coming year. Our checkbook hopes the same thing! So here's my shameless plug: If you or someone you know needs writing, editing, or proofreading services, I'm your gal! www.WillYouProofThis.com

In baby-related news, Gwendoline is growing right before our very eyes! I mentioned to Jeph this morning that she looks wider and fuller than she did just yesterday. And she is *this close* to rolling over! She wants to sit up so bad and tries all the time (we call these "baby crunches," where she lifts her head and legs off the ground at the same time as if trying to peel herself off her back and into a sitting position), but doesn't have the upper body strength or balance quite yet. She had the most adorable attack of the giggles last Sunday as I was changing her diaper in the (parked) car. She was in my lap so I got a front row seat to the most precious laughs I have ever heard!

We're looking forward to Christmas as a family of three this year and all that means- decorating the tree, pictures with Santa, Christmas shopping for baby toys, driving around to look at lights, etc. Even though Gwendoline is still way too young to realize what's happening, her mom and dad are going to have a ton of seasonal fun, starting with Merry Main Street in Frisco tomorrow. Lots of posts to come!

How are we ever going to tell this child no?

"Helping" Mom fold the laundry

Someone ate too much Thanksgiving turkey...

Thanksgiving past, Thanksgiving present

This Thanksgiving is quite a bit different from last Thanksgiving, not only because our family of two has become a family of three. Last Thanksgiving was rough for me. Jeph and I were quickly approaching the one year mark of trying to get pregnant and my emotions were still exposed and raw from having a miscarriage in September. To top things off, I learned on Thanksgiving Day that yet another friend was expecting. That brought the total of pregnant friends to what I felt like was 100. Needless to say, my "woe is me" attitude was in full effect. I remember Jeph trying to encourage me by reminding me that I still had my health and a roof over my head to be thankful for. My response to his sweet words still embarrasses me: "Is this how I'm supposed to measure success and happiness now? The fact that I'm not yet dead or homeless?" My answer should have been yes- those two things are actually amazing blessings! But I was hurt. I was selfish. Above all, I was mad.

I was mad at me for what I perceived as failing. I was mad at my husband for the same reason. I was inexplicably mad at all the pregnant women out there. And I was mad at God. Being mad at everything and everyone is exhausting. Being mad at God is debilitating. I wish I could say that through lots of prayer, study, and soul searching, I was able to let those feelings of anger go and be content in my journey, knowing that my prayer would be answered in His timing. Instead, I pouted my way through the next month until we found out, the day after Christmas, that we were expecting Gwendoline. Thinking back now, it absolutely amazes me that God chose to answer my fervent prayer given my pitiful attitude. I certainly didn't deserve it. Instead, He chose to reveal His grace, compassion, and presence in my life by blessing me with an amazing gift. The next time I am faced with having to wait and trust- two things that do not come naturally to me- I will remind myself of the grace I was shown and will, hopefully, through prayer, study, and soul searching, have the perspective to be content in my journey and His timing.

This Thanksgiving, I am abundantly and joyfully thankful for my husband, my daughter, and above all, God's grace.

From the fullness of grace we have received one blessing after another. 

-John 1:16