What I've Become

Motherhood has made me a lot of things:

• busy
• resourceful
• tired
• creative
• dirty
• ambidextrous 
• physically stronger
• emotionally spent
• incredibly and unbelievable happy

However, motherhood has also made me a CRAZY person. I've noticed that what used to be an insignificant detail now drives me insane and make me irrationally angry. For example: 

• the beeping of the microwave. Does it have to beep FIVE times when the food is ready, and again every 30 seconds to remind me that the food is still ready? I hear you! Yes, I know you're ready, but I'm covered in [insert something gross here] right now and can't attend to you yet.
• online banking. I log on to you at least every other day to make sure I'm not putting us in the poor house. And then one day, you feel the need to make sure it's really me this time and ask me all sorts of obscure security questions that I set the answers to five years ago. A lot has happened since then, so NO, I don't remember what my favorite food was in 2008.
• everything is LOUD when there is a sleeping baby in the house. I never noticed how loud my ten pound terrier is when he shakes his head after awaking from a nap. Or how loud the neighbor's car alarm is when he sets it off EVERY DAY. Seriously, every day. And then he somehow can't find the clicker to turn it off in a reasonable amount of time.
• being cut off. Not in the car (though that still irritates me). In the stroller. People take one look at me pushing the stroller through [insert name of shopping establishment here] and automatically assume they have the right of way. I may be slower pushing a stroller, but you people don't realize it can become a projectile aimed at your shins when I'm (irrationally) angry because you CUT ME OFF. Road rules apply, sir/ma'am.

The strangest part about being a crazy person is that I completely realize that the words coming out of my mouth or the thoughts going through my head are irrational. BUT I DON'T CARE. It's weird that something that would have had me making an appointment with my therapist six months ago is now my new normal.  

So watch out, people. You've been warned. 

;)